Region: Lowland Price: $$ Class: 100% Nautical Rating: 3 / 5 Best consumed in purgatory, wearing a gray sweatsuit and headband, listening to background dinner Muzak.
Pros, Cons and Neutralities
–: “Please enjoy responsibly”
N: Packaging is thoroughly gray – at least it has a cork
N: Relatively inexpensive for a Lowland offering
N: 80 proof
Culling of the Copy
Sweet aromas of vanilla,
coconut and the signature smooth and delicate Auchentoshan taste.
A fruity, lowland malt produced in Scotland since 1823 under the watchful eye of the distillery manager.
G.L.O.: This has barely any aroma, and “coconut” is a bald-faced lie. The distillery manager and his watchful eye are both badasses.
The Word(s) on the Street
adjectives: light and airy, lacking personality, nondescript, soul-less, smooth, slightly watery, oaky middle, slightly sweet, vanilla-y, inauspicious
“Like having a drunken wood nymph dancing in your mouth.”
“Dead center average scotch.”
“It’s good but doesn’t have much to say – kind of like a person you want to get to know but then you hang out and have nothing in common. (Maybe the watchful distillery manager, for example.)”